So Much For The Flu Shot...

So it's been a few weeks since my last post. I tested positive for the flu even having had the flu shot. This really didn't surprise me because I am feeling pretty exhausted lately and I had diagnosed a patient with the flu the week prior so I knew that I had a sick contact. In any event, the flu is no fun. I seriously have never been that sick before.

A lot has happened since I last wrote. I have been communicating with my husband minimally and to be honest, I feel much better. I have avoided his girlfriend's blog and his myspace account and am truly all the better for it. It's so much better not knowing right?

We have been talking more over the past 24 hours because our children are having a difficult time. They are telling me that daddy yells a lot- and believe me, daddy was yelling plenty before we separated so I believe them. They felt like it was their fault, typical for children to feel this way. I validated their feelings while encouraging them to talk with their daddy about how they are feeling. Neither of them felt like they could do that. We discussed ways to make daddy's apartment feel more like a home as this was a concern for them. They decided to bring a book case and some toys.

I emailed my husband to tell him about the conversation and he thanked me for the insight. He admitted that he had been yelling a lot lately because he is tired and feels trapped. I have to stop here to admit that I am fairly tired of hearing his sad story. He says that he is trapped because if he doesn't watch the kids while I work on Saturdays than I will have to get a sitter and he can't afford anymore daycare. So he has to watch the kids when he should be sleeping and he is tired and yells. I reassured him that I understand what it feels like to feel trapped and that I didn't think this would change for either of us anytime soon.

I have to say that I was thankful to the Lord that I was able to let the conversation go without getting into it really. It isn't easy to hold back from reminding him that the days that he isn't exhausted he is choosing to spend with his girlfriend. But it just isn't worth it at this point.

I am hopeful that he will be kinder and gentler with the children.

From The Word:
The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him, but with an overwhelming flood... he will pursue his foes into darkness. Whatever they plot against the Lord he will bring to an end; trouble will not come a second time.
Nahum 1:7-9

My Prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I pray for my children Lord. I ask in Jesus name that you seal their hearts and protect them from my husbands choices and behaviors. Lord, be their refuge when they feel abandoned, troubled and sad. In Jesus name, amen.